ViaSomethingWeird:"LovelyAphrodite,thegoddessofloveandnarratorofthistale...iskeepinganeyeonthingsonearthfromMountOlympuswhilebumblingheroTheseusandhistwomuscle-boundbuddiesencounterdangerandcrackcornyjokesontheirwaytoKingMinos’palace.KingMinosismarriedtothevulgarandvoraciousQueenScylla.Minosdiscoversthathislong-lostnieceistherightfulrulerofGreeceand...plansonhavinghisservantPandorausehercharmstodistractTheseusfromhismissionandleadhimtothelandoftheAmazonswhere,hopefully,he’llmostcertainlybekilled.Meanwhile,onMountOlympus,Zeusisinsearchofa“gullibleschnook”toguardawoodenchest“fulloftrouble”anddecidesTheseusisthemanforthejob.ZeustellsTheseustoprotecttheboxwithhislife,andthegodsproceedtocreatemischiefandmayhemfortheunwarymortals."